Life's Funny Little Turns

Ok, so maybe it's not such a funny little turn, but it's a turn in life nonetheless.

When we packed up and moved to Texas in 2005 we had a goal. We had made a plan and were setting out to work that plan. I began graduate school that year to become a Doctor of Audiology. And it worked! It was hard and there were times I would've have loved to taken the easy way out and quit. I didn't quit; I persevered and graduated in May 2009. And that would not have been possible had it not been for the emotional and financial support I received from my amazing husband (did I mention I didn't work for 3 whole years while in grad school?) and family.

I completed my 4th year of graduate school, a residency so to speak, at a clinic in Little Rock. I could not have asked for such a wonderful group to work for and to learn from. I immediately felt like one of the family the moment I stepped foot in the door. Towards the end of that year, I was excited to be able to go out and find my place in the Audiology world. I was full of rainbows and gumdrops thinking that I would be able to transition into another clinic and feel as awesome as I had in the Little Rock clinic. Boy was I wrong.

I interviewed with a private practice in Fort Smith and ended up taking the position. It was a big leap. Chris really supported my decision and encouraged me to try something new. It may have been easier to take a position at my father's office, but I knew I needed a little more experience before diving into that world. In fact, I wasn't sure that was a world I even wanted to dive into. We packed up (for the 4th time in our marriage) and moved. We took a short vacation before jumping into our new lives and by the time our first day rolled around, we were rested and ready.

Everything started off okay at the new clinic. It was hard to come in because I was seen as 'replacing' the other audiologist that was on medical leave. That was one of the hardest things I had to come to grips with while deciding to take the position. That very first day, the boss and I went to lunch. We talked about the future of the clinic, the way that the clinic runs, and just some basic chit chat about life in general. I was told that above all else, I was the audiologist and she was my boss. I didn't answer to anyone else. That quickly changed. After the 2nd staff meeting, it became apparent that I was an outsider. It rapidly became a place where I could chat with patients as they came through the door to a place where I was confined to my office and I felt like I was only allowed out to see my scheduled patients.

In my Little Rock clinic, I could jump in anywhere and help out wherever it was needed. It started out that way here, but then I was told that the front office staff were easily distracted and if I were up there than I might be a distraction for them. So there went helping with repairs, answering the phone, scheduling an appointment, etc. So I stayed in my little office and twiddled my thumbs until the next patient arrived. I saw that patient, had human contact for however long, and then back to the cage it was for me.

Then in September there was a meeting between me, the boss, and the office manager. My 90 day probationary period was up and they wanted to extend it another 90 days. They just said they were not sure they could afford me anymore. While they were super swamped before I got there, now that I was alleviating that load, there just wasn't enough to go around. I was okay with that, but asked to be kept in the loop so I could plan appropriately should they decide they could not keep me on. They agreed, and things went from bad to worse. I immediately felt that next week that I was unwelcome. A thorn in their side. Nobody would communicate with me. I would find out information relevant to me from the front office staff. It was almost like I was being shoved out. And I should mention that I love the front office staff there, it just wasn't appropriate for them to be told to tell me stuff. That almost made it like I was the lowest man on the totem pole when I had been told 3 months prior that I was the audiologist and essentially over them when it boiled down to it. So obviously I've been having a super hard time there, and everyone that would ask I would put on a big smiley face and pretend everything was okay. Chris, my parents, and a best friend were the only ones that knew the extent of what I was going through. I started to talk to my old boss at the Little Rock clinic, and so they knew as well.

Yesterday, Chris and I met for lunch and I was having a hard day. He kept probing me to find out what was wrong, but I hate that he kept having to hear how awful my job was and how unhappy I was. When we walked to our cars, I started to cry. I was just so emotional and fed up. I was being ignored by the boss. There was so much turmoil there, it was just unhealthy for me. Then, yesterday afternoon, as I was finishing up some notes for the day, the boss walked by and said she'd like to meet. I grabbed my stuff and followed her into the front office. She just basically laid it out and told me they couldn't afford me anymore and that was that. There was so much I wanted to say, but just kept it in. Ya know, pregnancy hormones and all.

I grabbed my keys and bolted. I immediately called Chris and told him his wife, whom he had supported for 3 years while she was getting a doctorate so she'd never be jobless again, was in fact jobless again. Then I called my dad. Can I just tell you how amazing my family is? Chris didn't flip out and ask a billion questions, he knew it was the best thing that could have happened...the timing just sucks being 6 months pregnant and no job availability in my profession in the area. My father immediately said he'd put me on the payroll. In-laws, brothers, every family that knows, has offered something. And I really appreciate them and am so thankful for all their generosity. We couldn't have made it those 3 years without them, and I am so glad that they have my back in this crazy life.

So now we have some decisions to make, including when to move (for the 5th time in our marriage). I'm also hoping that our next move will be the last for a while. I know that God has a plan for me, I just need to listen a little more closely to find out what it is. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to staying home and not having the stress of work on me and the baby. I think it's time for a little nesting. Also, if you could keep us in your prayers that this whole mess works out, we'd appreciate it.